What is the definition of networking? It may be different than you think.

We’ve been saying this for years: No matter who you are, learning to proactively network and impress others by expressing your interest in them will always take you far.

This lesson hit home for us yesterday. Some of us attended a one-day online marketing seminar down in Manhattan in New York City.

Topics covered were Website Design best practices, Search Engine Optimization, Social Media Marketing, Pay Per Click Advertising, Affiliate Marketing, Email Marketing and Viral Marketing.

While at the seminar, we were rubbing elbows with other attendees. We noticed something pretty interesting. Most of the people we were meeting were from Fairfield County, Connecticut. And many were clearly trying to network.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s a great idea. Today’s friendly greeting and handshake may be tomorrow’s referral. But many were going about it in a backward kind of way.

Let me explain.

These Connecticut business owners kept introducing themselves and their companies—but they were doing it in such a way as if they truly believed that other people at the seminar cared about them.

One could even hear faint echoes of a one-size-fits-all elevator pitch when they spoke.

Do you do this? If so, then we think you’re networking incorrectly!

For us, the definition of networking is to be interested in others, period.

The reality is that people you meet at these kinds of events really don’t care about you; they care much more about themselves.

You see, when they meet you, they’re not really thinking or wondering to themselves, “Who is this person?” but rather, “What can this person do for ME?”

Generally, people hire or buy from people they know, like and trust. Also, people generally like people who are interested in them.

So, with this in mind, a much more effective way to network would be to focus on the person you meet, instead of focusing on yourself. For example, say things like:

What do YOU need?

Do YOU find yourself needing more x, y, and z?

I would like to hear more about *YOUR* company and goals for the immediate future.

Your target market often complains of X, Y, Z. In order to address this, we can help you by….

Do you see the difference? Instead of coming across like, “Hi, do you need my services?” Begin your conversation with any one of the following, “What can I do for you? Who would you like to meet? What resources have you been looking for that you can’t find?”

Especially when you’re networking, be interested in other people this way, and they will surely start to find you interesting as well.

Remember, the number one factor in COMMUNICATING is LISTENING!

No matter who you are, learning to proactively network and impress others with your interest in them will always take you far. This is the definition of networking.